Moldovan Weddings

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Last night I got to experience an entirely new set of Moldovan traditions…a wedding. Svetlana’s (my partner teacher) oldest son got married to his girlfriend, Ina, last night. Petru (the groom) and Ina are both students in Chişinǎu but are from my village so they had the wedding at our Casa de Cultura (the “culture house”). I had been looking forward to this wedding for weeks, and was not disappointed by the experience. Other than the fact that it was between -25 and -30°C and we were in an unheated building, I had a great time and am really glad I got to take part in the celebration.

The night before the wedding, I went over to the Casa de Cultura after work to help set up…I soon realized that “helping” really meant taking shots of homemade vodka or wine with the groom, his dad (Simion), and my friend Diana (she used to be my Romanian tutor). Other than blowing up a few balloons, I didn’t do much more than hang out. On Saturday afternoon, I took some fried mushrooms over to the Casa de Cultura and helped fold napkins. The food was mostly prepared by a few women from the village (they cook in the school cantina) and by a couple of other older women, like my host mom, who wanted to help. The majority of the decorating and set up was done by students from the school…since both the bride and groom are young and my partner teacher and her husband both work at the school, they were able to find lots of willing helpers from the upper forms.

The invitation said that the wedding was supposed to start at 6pm, but in true Moldovan style, when I arrived at 8:30pm, things were just getting started. The festivities were kicked off with a short civil ceremony that legally joined the couple together. After that, all the guests lined up to greet the couple and the godparents. In Moldovan weddings, the groom’s godparents play a huge role. They help finance and plan the celebration, act as the legal witnesses for the event, and usually contribute a huge amount towards the couple’s nest egg. After shaking hands and kissing everyone, guests present the couple with flowers, presents, or money. After this is all done, it is necessary to drink a glass of wine…throughout the entire first part of the celebration, there were a couple young people (the equivalent of bridesmaids and groomsmen) walking around with a tray of wine and a large amount of chocolates. As soon as everyone had greeted the couple, the dancing commenced. The traditional dance of Moldova is called the Hora. It is circular dance that has a couple different combinations of steps…I never really know which steps are supposed to go with which song, so I just kind of hop around a bit until I can catch on. In Moldova, everyone dances, and I mean everyone!

After some dancing, we all went into the main room for the first course of the meal. Traditional Moldovan meals start with a variety of cold dishes. We had cold meat, salads, salted fish, and the, oh so appetizing, rooster jelly. Each table had red wine, white wine, champagne, homemade vodka, and cognac. The bride, groom, and godparents went from table to table to toast all of the guests. After eating this first set of food, there was more dancing…which was the only way to maintain feeling in our extremities. I ended up dancing with some of my students and I think they found it very entertaining. After the dancing, we went back in to eat the hot part of the meal around midnight. We had meatballs, sarmale (stuffed cabbage rolls) and lots more to drink. While we were eating, the godparents, bridesmaids, and groomsmen went from table to table with a big basket. Each person/couple said a few words of congratulation to the couple and then put money in the basket after announcing to everyone how much they were giving. It is customary for guests at a village wedding to give around 500 lei (if single) or 1,000 lei (if a couple). Some people gave money in American dollars or in Euro (because of the exchange rate). As an American, this part of the evening was particularly uncomfortable but it is a longstanding custom in Moldova so I am pretty sure I was the only one feeling awkward when my turn came around. The money given at a wedding goes first towards paying for the wedding, so in a sense, the guests pay for their place at the table. The money left over after paying for the celebration goes towards a house, apartment, car, furniture, dishes etc. Young couples here, like Ina and Petru, have nothing to start their lives together with so the money from the wedding is very important and greatly appreciated. After the basket made its rounds around the room (which took quite a while), both sets of parents made speeches and were then lifted up on chairs while music was played.

A couple of other rather interesting traditions took place after the main meal. A chicken stuffed with flowers was presented to the couple and the godfather had to bid for it. I was unable to get a straight answer from anyone as to the significance behind this custom, but I think it has something to do with always having enough to eat. Another tradition involves kidnapping the bride and making the groom pay a ransom to get her back. Typically, the bride is taken to the closest bar for drinks until her groom comes to collect her, but since it was soooooo very cold outside, they just hid Ina in another room for a few minutes and then Petru came to “buy” her back. Towards the end of the wedding (around 4am) there was the “undressing of the bride” which basically signifies the bride’s transition from girl to woman. The couple sits at a table and the godparents remove the groom’s boutonniere and the bride’s veil and put them on the best man and maid of honor. Then, they tie a scarf on the bride’s head (the kind that old ladies wear here all the time). After all of this, the godparents drape blankets, rugs, and other household gifts over the couple’s shoulders. Then, other guests come forward and present the couple with other gifts like dishes, cutlery, etc.

After all of the various traditional activities were done, there was more dancing, and of course, more drinking. I finally made my way home at about 6am. I am really happy that I got to experience a wedding here – it was definitely one of the most interesting things I have done since I came to Moldova.