Moldovan Weddings

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Last night I got to experience an entirely new set of Moldovan traditions…a wedding. Svetlana’s (my partner teacher) oldest son got married to his girlfriend, Ina, last night. Petru (the groom) and Ina are both students in Chişinǎu but are from my village so they had the wedding at our Casa de Cultura (the “culture house”). I had been looking forward to this wedding for weeks, and was not disappointed by the experience. Other than the fact that it was between -25 and -30°C and we were in an unheated building, I had a great time and am really glad I got to take part in the celebration.

The night before the wedding, I went over to the Casa de Cultura after work to help set up…I soon realized that “helping” really meant taking shots of homemade vodka or wine with the groom, his dad (Simion), and my friend Diana (she used to be my Romanian tutor). Other than blowing up a few balloons, I didn’t do much more than hang out. On Saturday afternoon, I took some fried mushrooms over to the Casa de Cultura and helped fold napkins. The food was mostly prepared by a few women from the village (they cook in the school cantina) and by a couple of other older women, like my host mom, who wanted to help. The majority of the decorating and set up was done by students from the school…since both the bride and groom are young and my partner teacher and her husband both work at the school, they were able to find lots of willing helpers from the upper forms.

The invitation said that the wedding was supposed to start at 6pm, but in true Moldovan style, when I arrived at 8:30pm, things were just getting started. The festivities were kicked off with a short civil ceremony that legally joined the couple together. After that, all the guests lined up to greet the couple and the godparents. In Moldovan weddings, the groom’s godparents play a huge role. They help finance and plan the celebration, act as the legal witnesses for the event, and usually contribute a huge amount towards the couple’s nest egg. After shaking hands and kissing everyone, guests present the couple with flowers, presents, or money. After this is all done, it is necessary to drink a glass of wine…throughout the entire first part of the celebration, there were a couple young people (the equivalent of bridesmaids and groomsmen) walking around with a tray of wine and a large amount of chocolates. As soon as everyone had greeted the couple, the dancing commenced. The traditional dance of Moldova is called the Hora. It is circular dance that has a couple different combinations of steps…I never really know which steps are supposed to go with which song, so I just kind of hop around a bit until I can catch on. In Moldova, everyone dances, and I mean everyone!

After some dancing, we all went into the main room for the first course of the meal. Traditional Moldovan meals start with a variety of cold dishes. We had cold meat, salads, salted fish, and the, oh so appetizing, rooster jelly. Each table had red wine, white wine, champagne, homemade vodka, and cognac. The bride, groom, and godparents went from table to table to toast all of the guests. After eating this first set of food, there was more dancing…which was the only way to maintain feeling in our extremities. I ended up dancing with some of my students and I think they found it very entertaining. After the dancing, we went back in to eat the hot part of the meal around midnight. We had meatballs, sarmale (stuffed cabbage rolls) and lots more to drink. While we were eating, the godparents, bridesmaids, and groomsmen went from table to table with a big basket. Each person/couple said a few words of congratulation to the couple and then put money in the basket after announcing to everyone how much they were giving. It is customary for guests at a village wedding to give around 500 lei (if single) or 1,000 lei (if a couple). Some people gave money in American dollars or in Euro (because of the exchange rate). As an American, this part of the evening was particularly uncomfortable but it is a longstanding custom in Moldova so I am pretty sure I was the only one feeling awkward when my turn came around. The money given at a wedding goes first towards paying for the wedding, so in a sense, the guests pay for their place at the table. The money left over after paying for the celebration goes towards a house, apartment, car, furniture, dishes etc. Young couples here, like Ina and Petru, have nothing to start their lives together with so the money from the wedding is very important and greatly appreciated. After the basket made its rounds around the room (which took quite a while), both sets of parents made speeches and were then lifted up on chairs while music was played.

A couple of other rather interesting traditions took place after the main meal. A chicken stuffed with flowers was presented to the couple and the godfather had to bid for it. I was unable to get a straight answer from anyone as to the significance behind this custom, but I think it has something to do with always having enough to eat. Another tradition involves kidnapping the bride and making the groom pay a ransom to get her back. Typically, the bride is taken to the closest bar for drinks until her groom comes to collect her, but since it was soooooo very cold outside, they just hid Ina in another room for a few minutes and then Petru came to “buy” her back. Towards the end of the wedding (around 4am) there was the “undressing of the bride” which basically signifies the bride’s transition from girl to woman. The couple sits at a table and the godparents remove the groom’s boutonniere and the bride’s veil and put them on the best man and maid of honor. Then, they tie a scarf on the bride’s head (the kind that old ladies wear here all the time). After all of this, the godparents drape blankets, rugs, and other household gifts over the couple’s shoulders. Then, other guests come forward and present the couple with other gifts like dishes, cutlery, etc.

After all of the various traditional activities were done, there was more dancing, and of course, more drinking. I finally made my way home at about 6am. I am really happy that I got to experience a wedding here – it was definitely one of the most interesting things I have done since I came to Moldova.

Trafficking

January 11th is internationally recognized as the "Human Trafficking Awareness Day" and I have to admit that I was not even aware of this until I moved to a part of the world where people are affected daily by the devastation that results from trafficking in persons. Peace Corps Moldova has an organization run by volunteers called Moldova TIP (Trafficking in Persons) which works as a liaison between local anti-trafficking groups in Moldova and Peace Corps volunteers. Because our position here as volunteers prevents us from getting directly involved in specific trafficking cases, Moldova TIP strives to gather and provide as much information as possible about the issue of human trafficking to PC volunteers so that we can, in turn, go back to our villages equipped with the necessary information in hopes that we can increase awareness and spread knowledge about the problem and methods of prevention among ourcommunities. For those of us in the education programs, this information is especially relevant since many of our students are in the age range often targeted by traffickers. I have attended some of the meetings of Moldova TIP and hope to continue my involvement in the organization as my service here continues over the next couple of years. There are many people here who are unable to find adequate means of support for themselves and their families, and as a result of this, they fall prey to trafficking schemes promising jobs abroad (jobs like nannies, waitresses, models, dancers, maids, etc). Some people are so desperate for a chance of employment that they overlook the warning signs and agree to work abroad with nothing more than a promise from a near-stranger. I have included a few links to some very interesting articles on the subject and I hope you will take the time to read them. These stories sound like the stuff of Hollywood movies, but for many here in Moldova, they are a reality...a devastating, daily reality.


The Countertraffickers
Rescuing the victims of the global sex trade.
by William Finnegan
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/05/05/080505fa_fact_finnegan?currentPage=all

This is an article from our very own Houston Chronicle, published in recognition of Human Trafficking Awareness Day
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/editorial/outlook/6808673.html

This is the US Department of State's Trafficking In Persons Report for 2009
http://www.state.gov/g/tip/rls/tiprpt/2009/

Istanbul Pictures Part 2

Thanks to Isaac, I now have another batch of photos from our trip.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=190438&id=777838447&l=c4e165234f

Istanbul Pictures

The following is a link to the facebook photo album of my trip to Istanbul. Enjoy!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=189240&id=777838447&l=6fffc3cf62

Back to Reality

Note: I wrote this on the 7th of January, but due to lack of internet access, I am just now posting it on the 11th….PS, Happy Birthday Mama!

Merry Second Christmas to everyone! Here in Moldova, many people follow the Orthodox calendar and celebrate Christmas on January 7th. My host family celebrates on both December 25th and January 7th which I have absolutely no problem with! This morning, we all gathered for another Christmas dinner (breakfast) which my host mom spent the past 3 days preparing for. This time around, the menu was more Moldovan. We ate sarmale (stuffed cabbage and grape leaves), meatballs, some crepe-like things stuffed with meat and cheese, mamaliga (the national dish of Moldova…an interesting cornmeal concoction), rooster jelly (for the host family), and rooster soup (for me). The meal was started off with a shot of vodka, of course, and then we switched to wine, and then coffee. My host family was excited to try the Texas fruit cake that my grandparents sent to me. After stuffing ourselves, we spent the rest of the day relaxing at home.

I just got back from an amazing trip to Istanbul a few days ago. On December 27th, I tried to fly out of Moldova but was unsuccessful due to the return of some lovely freezing rain. After sitting in the airport for a few hours, and coming across all sorts of interesting characters, we were told that our flight was cancelled so I had to scramble to find a place to crash for the night. That is one downside to living in a village…the last bus from the capital to my village left about 2 hours before my flight was cancelled and the Peace Corps office closed before I was able to get my luggage back. Luckily, earlier that day, I had run into a couple of other volunteers who were planning to stay the night in an apartment so after making a few phone calls, I was able to find a bit of floor space to crash on for the night. I was eventually able to get onto a flight to Istanbul on the 28th, and was met by my dad at the Istanbul airport around 2 in the afternoon. We took a bus back to the hotel, where I was surprised to find Isaac. I had no idea he was coming so I was obviously very excited, and squealed like a little girl when he popped out from around the corner at me. Other than the first day and the last 2 days before we left, the weather was absolutely wonderful. It was marvelous to be able to go outside without wearing 4 layers of clothing. I also enjoyed the luxury of having efficient indoor plumbing…oh, the showers! Dad, Isaac, and I were there for about 8 days so we were really able to make our way around Istanbul and see pretty much everything we wanted to see. We ate some amazing meals and I was thrilled to drink real coffee from a Starbucks we passed every day. One evening, we were able to meet up with my dad’s assistant principal and her husband (who is Turkish and was visiting his family in Istanbul for the first time in about 11 years) for a fun evening of food, drinks, live music, and belly dancing (we were not the ones doing the dancing, by the way). One of my good friends from Peace Corps was also visiting Istanbul with her mother while we were there, so one day we met up with them for coffee and then went to the Blue Mosque. On New Years Eve, Isaac, Dad, and I went out for an amazing meal and drinks. We decided to avoid the crazy crowds and just enjoyed our dinner and went back to the hotel. Istanbul was definitely unlike any other city I have ever visited, and I absolutely loved it. Everyone we encountered was incredibly nice and eager to help us and the history that is so much a part of the city made it one of my favourite trips ever. It goes without saying that getting to see my dad and little brother after 7 months away from home was definitely a highlight.

The time away from Moldova made me realize that I am happy here and I do genuinely enjoy what I am doing, but that every day here is challenging (whether it is working with my students or my partners, just trying to deal with the everyday challenges of living somewhere so different from home, or the constant struggle to be able to communicate with people in a foreign language) and that no matter what I would be doing back in the US right now if I hadn’t decided to join the Peace Corps, I am pretty sure it would be easier than living here.

Coming back to my home in Bravicea was actually kind of nice after being gone for awhile. My host family was interested to hear all about my trip and to see pictures of everything we saw. Unfortunately for me, I once again managed to catch a bit of a cold while I was away…I think it must be a lack of vitamins in my diet or something because I have had more colds since I have been here than I have had in the past 5 years of my life! Anyway, my ever-attentive host family noticed immediately and I was once again scolded for not wearing the appropriate winter attire necessary in Moldova (although, I don’t think I could possibly add another layer to my current outfit as it is). I am afraid that my host mama is going to stop letting me leave the house until the spring.

I have another few days before school starts up again on the 11th and I have to admit that I am almost ready to go back. Right now, sitting around at home, reading and watching movies, makes me feel a bit unproductive. Hopefully, I will be able to upload some of the pictures from my trip to facebook pretty soon, so keep an eye out for them. Between Isaac and I, I think we got some really good shots of Istanbul.